2016! When even a toddler knows that using his little finger he can toggle the digital gadgets, but the lady of the house still bears the onus of the dirty laundry in the home. The bigger the pile, the more frequent the laundry has to be.

Belonging to a typical Indian middle class family, I have never seen anyone but mom bearing the brunt of dad's still-stained collar of shirts, brother's complaints about his favourite pair of jeans scrubbed again and our school uniforms given a little imperfect blend of fabric whitener.

That nice and proud feeling when our school uniform looks brighter than the classmates in the morning assembly never made us think that how much effort our moms would have to put in making it stainless. Despite of having the best washing machine available, she would take out the shirts and scrub their collars manually so that it is spotless clean. I can't thank all the mothers enough for their unconditional love and working for us 24X7 irrespective of the fact if their household chores get appreciated or not.

Being independent for almost a decade and married for 2 years, I feel how unjustified this stereotypical thinking is. The lady of the house has to go through all these tantrums when she is doing laundry for us out of courtesy. She is not obliged to do it. It has been fed to our minds that laundry has to be done by the women only.

Married to a man who is so helpful in sharing household work like cooking, doing laundry, cleaning and doing dishes, made me feel blessed and also grieved for my friends when I hear their agonies of working full time in office and homes when their husbands are busy in watching TV after work.

Practically, women are considered cleaner than men (source). They also have lesser tolerance to mess and dirt but their intolerance towards the dirty pile of clothes should not be taken for granted. Traditionally, most of the women didn't go for work and stay-at-home wives which would ultimately be considered taking responsibility of the household chores like laundry.

Right from the beginning of our upbringing, we observe (not necessarily told) that mothers perform household chores like cooking, cleaning, doing the dishes and laundry while fathers are responsible for chores which need heavy-weight mechanical work. If somehow, they try to swap their duties, for example, a father starts doing dishes because mother is sick, the daughter is asked to do it instead because a father does not technically seem justified to do household chores. Have you ever seen any commercial for any product used in housework with a male model in it?



The above statistics clearly demonstrate that our society holds irrational prejudice against women that laundry is only their responsibility and men need not help them.

It is the high time to comprehend the genesis of such a stereotypical mindset. Where could we go wrong?

Women work outside the homes and share the responsibility of finances for household. Similarly, men should be equally liable for household chores. Helping each other in housework makes them spend quality time together. They tend to finish work quickly and they will have more time to relax after work rather than just exhausting wife. There should be no women designated work at home. After all, their home belongs to both of them.

Children are great imitators so give them something great to imitate.

Children tend to learn more from what we do than what we teach them. Seeing father doing laundry would inculcate the rational in them that no household chore is gender specific. Also, try to put some responsibility of little chores on their shoulders as well so that they keep their feet on ground and they grow up as a perfect exemplification of balanced household. Children can help their parents in laundry as well by separating clothes of different colours or folding their own little clothes.


Ariel came up with the following commercial which is an eye-opener and breaks the stereotypical convention that laundry is just mother's job and men should #sharetheload.

SORT - WASH - DRY - FOLD - IRON

I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.

Once again, the beautiful state of Haryana who has produced legends like Kapil Dev, Virender Sehwag, Vijender Singh and Saina Nehwal, is gripped by riots. It has been more than 10 days and the state of Haryana is bursting with protests, anger and violation.

Jats are demanding themselves to be included in Backward Class (BC) quota so that they can get reservation in jobs and education. In order to convince the Government and to make their voices heard, they are causing violent disturbances in the state due to which 19 people have already lost their lives. Army has been deployed to clear the blockades caused by the protesters which were affecting the communication network and water supply to the areas needing them the most.

Hardik Patel from Gujarat and now Jat community in Haryana  - same demand, same social ruckus. How justified are they for their demands by causing such an upheaval?

Jats in Haryana are considered quite well off and acquire huge land mass. They are basically from  a farming community but they have good economic status in Haryana, Punjab and some parts of UP. Why, on earth, are they demanding such an uncorroborated reservation in jobs and asking themselves to be included in Backward Class.  Their protests have already cost the damage of Rs. 34,000 crore to North Indian states. (source:NDTV).

In India most of the scholarships or student aid is available only for OBC's, SC, ST, BC, Women, Minorities & Muslims. Around only 0.7% of scholarships or student aid in India is based on merit. Source

'Secular' and democratic India has been ironically shackled by the reservation system in place based on 'castes'. Reservations were introduced in India only to uplift the lower strata of the society so that they could have equal opportunities in jobs and education. The situation has changed after 68 years of independence. The lower strata of the society cannot be calculated merely on the caste system. Economic factors play major role. A poor is a poor irrespective of his caste, so why caste is the main component for providing opportunities? Why a (BC) backward class person having basic luxuries of life and education should be given more opportunities than a poor person whose caste is probably not among the BC or OBC category? Either reservation system should be abolished completely or should be applicable only to the economically weak strata.

In 2016, where people leave no stone unturned to move forward, we Indians are still convincing our Government to include us in backward categories to avail ourselves of the opportunities which we don't deserve otherwise.

Government of India should take relevant steps in solving this unjustified reservation demands by Jat community. If Jats are holding the whole Northern India at ransom to convince governments to meet their demands, do they really deserve reservation? If somehow, government accepts their demands, they should better be ready for the storm of agitation in Gujarat and Andhra Pradesh.

Source

Overhearing "Udaan" while working in the kitchen last night, I was disturbed to the core. For those who don't know which TV series I am mentioning here, it is "Udaan" broadcasted on Colors. This series is about Bondage Labour known as "Bandhua Mazdoor" in India.

The least heard kind of slavery: Bonded Labour

What is bonded labour?

Bonded labour, as the name suggests, is the labour or services offered to the creditor as the security in lieu of any debt incurred by the debtor. The duration and the services in bonded labour are mostly indefinite because the debtors are tricked by the lenders to be slaved for the rest of their lives charging them high interest rates till the debt is paid off and it even goes to their next generation. The lender generally makes the debtor sign a bond in which the debtor is not entitled to work for anyone else. If a bonded labour tries to flee himself, he is threatened by the moneylender who considers himself the owner of the slave. The moneylenders are mostly socially and economically powerful people who has the support of local governments due to their vote banks.

Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. Abraham Lincoln

Slaves out of debt work in farms, factories, mines, construction sites, restaurants, hotels, retail stores, brick kilns, quarries, brothels and private homes. We are, unknowingly, supporting the modern slavery by buying products made by bonded labourers such as clothing, construction materials etc.

Data Source: Global Slavery Index 2014

It is also known as "Modern Slavery", "Contemporary Slavery", "Debt Bondage" and "Debt Slavery". In the world of facebook and whatsapp, we are still having 35.8 million bonded slaves worldwide, India alone having 14 million of them. Although debt bondage was abolished by India in 1976 yet it is still prevalent in the most parts of the country courtesy of weak enforcement of the law by all the governments sinc then.

Bonded labor is a relic of history that should have long ago been eliminated from South Asia, but greed, corruption, and government ineffectiveness allow this caustic mode of exploitation to persist well into modern times. In order to ensure basic human rights, guarantee untainted global supply chains, and protect international security, the forces that promote bonded labor must be tackled immediately. Siddharth Kara, author, activist & one of the world's foremost experts on modern day slavery and human trafficking

Bonded labourers are found mainly in Indian states of Andhra Pradesh, Arunachal Pradesh, Bihar, Chattisgarh, Gujarat, Haryana, Jharkhand, Karnataka, Kerala, Madhya Pradesh, Maharashtra, Orissa, Punjab, Rajasthan, Tamil Nadu, Uttar Pradesh, Uttrakhand, and West Bengal.

Reasons for debt

Slavery has been existing since the poverty has existed in the world. Due to poverty, the poor has to lend money for the survival from the flourished ones. In India, people take most of the loans from the moneylenders (mahajans) for the dowry of their daughters and in return they become labourers to pay it off. Farmers, on the other hand, take loans and keep on paying it off their entire life which is the main reason for their suicides when they cannot pay it back even after being slaves to the moneylenders and working more than normal hours. Besides this, the prevalent discrimination between the different levels in our society fuels the poverty stricken to bend for loans from the rich.

Since caste system is prevalent in India, it is the main social reason for the bonded labour engulfing India. The Dalits are refrained from buying any property or getting powerful and are forced into labour by the powerful and higher castes. Besides Dalits, migrant workers, religious minorities and tribes are grinded in the axe of debt crisis.

Conditions of bonded labourers

Bonded labourers are not only tricked into the bond of slavery, but also are treated worse than animals by their owners. Internet is full of such stories where the bonded slaves have shared their stories of being ill treated by their owners. Given leftovers to eat and rags to wear, physically abused if the orders are not obeyed properly, bonded slaves despite working extra hours and hard enough to pay off their debts, are subjected to live the lives of destitutes without dignity which is against human rights. Sometimes the moneylenders physically abuse them too when the labourers try to break the shackles of tricked bond.

Child slavery is a crime against humanity. Humanity itself is at stake here. I will see the end of child labour in my lifetime. Kailash Satyarthi, 2014 Nobel Peace Prize Winner

Source

One of the worst results of bonded labour is the child labour. Since bonded labour goes from generation to generation and subsequently, children in the family are also involved to work for the moneylenders. Child labour is the worst kind of labour, condemned in the whole world.

Eradication efforts

Our responsibility

Those who are shackled in bonded labour may not be able to read my post so I cannot ask them to follow certain ways of life to get rid of their slavery. The onus is, therefore, on us to convey the message to them. Everyone can help put an end to slavery: governments, businesses, investors, international organizations, faith communities, schools, consumers, and Us (You & I).

For every man who lives without freedom, rest of us must face the guilt.

- Lilian Hellman

Let us stop encouraging any kind of slavery happening around us be it our house helps. Let us stop the discrimination based on castes and let everyone live with dignity because every Indian citizen has the same constitutional right. Let us convince the central and state governments that the law introduced in 1976 to abolish slavery forever should be implemented strictly and should take every possible measure to spread the awareness towards it.

We, as citizens of this largest democracy of the world should accept that caste system is hindrance towards our social development and should not encourage debt labour if we see it around us.

"Dad, I want to pursue my higher education in Canada.", I said while trying to convince my Dad reluctantly.

"Beta, I'm glad you expressed it to me. Even my friend's daughter has gone to some college in Canada. I was thinking to ask you if you'd like to join the same college. She is liking it there. Let me know what do you want me to do to help you in this case."came his reply.

Wow! That was something unexpected or may be I was just underestimating my Dad. I jumped with joy and excitement as my half of the struggle is done.

"How would she survive there? Look at her! Such a thin girl who doesn't even know how to make tea for herself?" came a feeble voice of an old relative who was listening to the whole conversation between the father and the daughter.

"Have you gone mad? Aren't there enough colleges in India when you are trying to send her off this far? You are doing a mistake, I'm telling  you. You'll repent it later." the voice kept convincing my dad to change his decision.

My dad who is always firm in his decisions, replied, "You don't worry. She has every right to live up to her dream as much as her brother has! For your concern about her cooking skills, an empty stomach can make every one learn how to earn and learn".

Here I was, in 4 months and 12 days, breathing in Toronto.

Two years later
"Madamji, I'll take care of your luggage.", said the helper at the Delhi airport who looked in his early thirties.

"No, I am fine. Thank you. I can carry it by myself." was my reply after the worker was too keen on putting my luggage on the cart.

"Madamji, you are alone and look so weak. How would you carry and drag it all the way to the immigration counter by yourself?", said the helper resistantly, who could help other passengers who probably needed him more than me. He was keen on engaging himself in a conversation with me.

I was thankful to him for offering his help but he was judging me and was sympathizing with me because I was the only girl travelling alone and according to him, I looked weak and probably needed help. He also had thought that a girl travelling alone could be an easy target of his perversions. I could be tired after 30 hours of flight but not weak.

Not to sound arrogant, I ignored him completely and walked off quickly.

5 more years later
Weddings are the perfect excuses for me to visit India, where my heart belongs to. They say, "Home is where your heart is". I was in the midst of greeting relatives at the wedding I was attending and I was loving it to see everyone after such a long time.

"Namaste Auntieji! How have you been?" I greeted one of the aunties I was seeing after a long time.

"Namaste beta! You haven't changed a bit after so many years. I heard people have fair complexion and they are more stylish when they return from Canada after so many years, but you are still the same dusky girl!", came auntie's response to my greetings, pulling my cheeks simultaneously.

"For god sake auntieji, I was studying in Canada and working at 2 part-time jobs concurrently to pay off my studies. I didn't have maids like you to work for me. By the way, I didn't go to a different country to pursue how to look stylish and light skinned!" I whispered.

My mom standing next to me felt bad as well and she replied to auntie on my behalf, "Since my daughter is too nice to respond you on this, let me tell you that she is a university gold-medallist and a post-graduate with honours from a Canadian University. She neither puts make-up on nor does she dress to please anyone. She is capable enough to express herself through what she has achieved not what others perceive. By the way, Canada does not offer beauty classes where Indian people can go and turn white."

Whoa! My mom just turned into Jhansi ki Rani who fought for her daughter, proud of you mom!



How many of us though will have to face this criticism based on our appearances because definitely not everyone of us is going to be saved by moms and that too everytime, right?

• 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks.
• 64% of women agree that the judgements passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.
• 70% of women agree that majority of judgements on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.
• 72% of women agree that working women face more judgements on their looks or their clothes than housewives.

One of my friends shared the picture on the left on facebook last night and it appeared on my timeline. I couldn't resist thinking about it since then.

What is it about this picture which touched me the most? Is it bothersome to see a child selling fruits at the street corner or the relief in knowing that he is not begging to survive and out of self-respect, he rather preferred to work and earn.

One of my Caucasian friend who likes to travel to different countries once shared her experience of travelling to India with me. To my embarrassment, she told me how she was welcomed by so many beggars in the capital city on coming out of the airport. She was surprised and shocked as well that most of those beggars were children between the ages of 5-10. She shared her brutal experience of being followed and almost groped by them but I already knew that this is one of the major social issues in India and foreigners are likely to be scared by them.

India, being emerged as a developing nation on the world map, is still engulfed by so many social conflicts due to larger disparity between the rich and the poor. Begging is one of those major social issues when 21.9% of the total population is below the poverty line and are surviving on as less as $1.90 per day per head in the family to make both ends meet.  This amount is just for the basic food necessities and does not include basic health care and education. This is the root cause of them to turn to begging to survive. The whole family is generally involved into begging. Since the majority of them are deprived of education as well, they tend to think that more members of the family can bring more money by begging. They have considerably large families and all of them are involved in begging to survive.

source:quotesgram.com

Most often we come across them near traffic signals, theatres, bus-stops, public places or may be outside our homes. We, Indians, being superstitious and sentimental would give them alms and feel good.This is not justified in most of the cases. We may be thinking that we made their day today but the reality can be different. The beggars could have used that money to suffice their drug addiction or they are simply too lazy to work. We are just helping them to suffer in the environment they are born with. We, infact, lost an opportunity to let them earn their self-respect and confidence. We might feel bad today but their awakened self-respect and self-conscience are more important.

Most of the beggars are con these days. They are drug addicts and some of them are involved in big rackets or scams. They have large gangs operating in different parts of the cities and somehow making more money everyday by begging than an average hard working middle class worker. Some of the beggars even making fortunes. Here is the link to the article in Storypick.com where they mentioned 6 Professional Beggars in India who are probably richer than You & I.

Begging is not the only option, it is an "easy" option to survive. Our country's 21.9% population cannot thrive and depend on other 78.1%, most of whom are also middle-class people who work hard everyday for their livelihood. Self-reliance and self-dependence is the biggest virtue of those who feel that they are less fortunate.

There are many self-respected below the poverty line people in our country as well who would rather do any kind of work than to beg. Varun Paruthi, an actor and  a philanthropist, has videos on his social experiments where he meets so many self-respecting people who would work hard and earn rather than just losing hope and beg. They believe in hard work and try everything to come out of the miserable situation of their lives they are born with. If a beggar can count the money given to him and walk up to us to beg, he can surely do the work that needs intelligence and physical movement. All he needs is work for his survival.

Government of India, so far, has so many schemes and welfare plans to eradicate poverty and to give employment opportunities to the destitute. Let the government do its duty but as citizens of this diversified country, we also have a responsibility towards the fellow citizens to not let them live a miserable life and believe in what our Prime Minister said once "Self respect of this country depends on self-respect of each of the 125 crore people of India." Please stop supporting begging and help those who would work till their last breath than to beg!

"Well I think every human being must have two faces, it’s very essential, one which you have for people in public and one which you have for yourself because when these two things are mixed together they make you a personality that’s fit for everybody and I think you have a private side to yourself I have it too."  These are the words of Sushmita Sen, the first Miss Universe winner from India, on  being asked if she has a private life to herself. I am a big fan of Sushmita as she, in true essence, is beauty with the brains. I do have a private side of myself which I enjoy it with myself. In my private life, I keep the minimum secrets, not because I cannot keep them and spill beans but just because I tend to forget them anyway.

I am a strong opposer of gender discrimination but researchers have found that women cannot keep secrets and the tongues start wagging in after just 47 hours irrespective of the confidentiality of the news. I am definitely not one of those, in case my credibility is questionable. So here I am spilling the beans and sharing couple of secrets that nobody knows except my better half.

I am blessed to have married my best friend who enjoys his freedom as much as I do. Both of us, working in corporate world, haven't felt the necessity out of courtesy to share our personal accounts information with each other except the one we share. These accounts can be social media networks, credit cards or my online ventures (including this blog). I do not deny the impermanence of life and not going to enjoy everything I possess after I die. Therefore, I keep a small notebook in my bag all the time where I have all the information of all the personal accounts I own along with the name of contact person(my husband), if something happens to me. I do have all the usernames, passwords and answers to all the security questions I ever been asked. So, If I die writing this blog, the chances are that my husband is going to publish this blog. This idea came to me, in 2003, after the sudden death of my cousin due to an accident who was just 2 years older than me and shared the closest bond with. Life couldn't have taught me another lesson of its transiency when I lost him. Since then, I have always ensured that I live my life everyday as this is going to be my last day.

Another secret of mine, which I would rather call a crazy one because it is about something I fancied while I was a teenager. Yes! I did write letters to Salman Khan ! (not with my blood, for Godsake). I used to write him so many letters and would send him a birthday card for sure on his birthday on December 27th every year. My parents thought that I had been such a bookworm who kept sticking her head to the books to ace all the exams. Concurrently, I had been a big admirer of Salman Khan and would keep his photos in my books. Well, I was not really bad in studies you know, A Gold Medalist in University, wouldn't let my parents guess that I could actually fancy someone along with my books.

As I said earlier, I tend to forget things but little secrets (if I remember) in life keep my life interesting and worth sharing it with people I love when the right time comes.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.