Nobody wants to be lonely

nobody wants to be lonely - incredible opinions

Do you remember the stickers on our school notebooks which would say "This notebook belongs to..........." and we would fill this blank with our names in the most decorative manner. Although this belongingness is more in a "possession" context, it does not work in relationships when we say "You belong to Me".

The sense of belonging is a human need and is fundamental to our sense of well-being. It has a great value in life and helps in coping with intensely painful emotions. As humans, we need to belong - to someone, to our families, to our friends, to our city, country or the world. Interestingly, humans, are not the only ones who feel the necessity of it.

Why do we need someone?

We are driven by five genetic needs: survival. love and belonging, power, freedom and fun.William Glasser
First of all, why do we need someone? We, humans, are social species and we feel it as a punishment if we are rejected, cut off or estranged by other people. We need someone around us to share our experiences, someone to talk to and to be socially accepted.

It is evident from the past that people who belonged to each other in communities/tribes were more successful because they helped each other. They survived longer who had others as their companions. People who belong to others tend to protect each other and thus, the chances of survival are always more if you have more people at your back.

Also, when we belong to a group/community, we feel valuable. It boosts our self-esteem and it gives direction to our life. We share information with each other which makes us more knowledgeable than those who don't. By exchanging information with each other, we can take better decisions, improve our productivity and our chances of survival increase too.

Since our infanthood, we know that we need our parents around us. The proximity of our family in our childhood brings the sense of safety and happiness. It is not possible to survive if we don't belong to anyone in our infanthood. There is an internal bond which keeps us bonded with our families and we like to keep this bond forever but the circle widens just from families to friends, colleagues at work, community groups etc.

The need of belonging is more in some people than others. They need more closeness, intimacy, attachment and love than others but in general, the science of relationships is based on the need of belonging to someone. A relationship is considered beautiful and it survives longer when the sense of belongingness is mutual.



5 comments:

  1. "The need of belonging is more in some people than others." And some people love to be alone too ☺

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    1. Yes Tomichan, some people like to be alone too because they find peace in their solitude.

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  2. I liked the way you related the possession of 'notebook' with the sense of belonging in a relationship. Only is one made an equally honest attempt to beautify a relationship just as one beautified the notebook, the world would be full of love and acre.

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    1. I agree Sunaina, the possession should not be forced and it should be mutual.

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  3. I really think noadays nobody has time for others but still it's a great stress buster also if u have get time and share things with your near and dear ones.

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